


Labels are Overrated, Anyway

by loeysxdaisies



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chanyeol is literally the best person ever, Fluff, I'm telling you it's all I write, M/M, Mild Angst, Not a Relationship, Smut, Tao being Baekhyun's confidant and the best mom friend ever, also happy ending don't be scared, but also a relationship, commitment issues, don't be fooled the smut probably sucks, scared Baekhyun, understanding Chanyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:02:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loeysxdaisies/pseuds/loeysxdaisies
Summary: Baekhyun has commitment issues, and Chanyeol doesn’t know. And then he asks about it and is very, very confused when Baekhyun quite literally runs for his life.





	Labels are Overrated, Anyway

“Fuck, Baekhyun, fuck I’m gonna come.” Chanyeol groaned as his hands tightened their grip on Baekhyun’s hips, thrusting roughly upwards and meeting each of the smaller’s bounces easily.

“Then come, hotshot.” Baekhyun clenched around Chanyeol and that was it.

“ _Fuck_!” Chanyeol threw his head back against the bed as he came, and Baekhyun moaned as he was filled up completely.

“Keep going, sweetheart.” Chanyeol gritted his teeth as his hands rubbed along Baekhyun’s thighs.

“You’re not done yet.” Baekhyun bit his lips, picking his thrusts back up and rolling his hips desperately, his cock aching for a release.

He planted his hands on Chanyeol’s chest for balance as he continued rocking, and Chanyeol thrusted up shallowly a few times, his right hand coming up to circle his dick and stroke around the overstimulated head.

“Shit, Ch-Chanyeol, _shit_.” Baekhyun stuttered, his hips faltering as he got closer to his orgasm.

“Come on, Baekhyun, come for me,” Chanyeol spoke lowly. He paired a final thrust with a hard jerk of Baekhyun’s cock and the smaller was coming hotly, thick, white spurts covering both their chests as Baekhyun cried out so hard his voice cracked.

He leaned forward, his hands coming to rest on the bed next to Chanyeol’s head while his head dropped and he struggled to regain his breathing. Chanyeol’s hand circled the back of Baekhyun’s neck and his thumb rubbed his cheek comfortingly, helping to reground Baekhyun and giving him a steady rhythm to lock on to help control his breathing.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispered, nodding his head weakly.

Chanyeol reached around with his free hand and pulled out of Baekhyun who grunted in response. He then pulled on Baekhyun’s neck, ignoring the come still covering them and adjusting Baekhyun to lie comfortably on his chest, his hands rubbing the expanse of Baekhyun’s sweaty back.

Baekhyun hid his face in the crook of Chanyeol’s neck, finding comfort in the way the larger man was cradling him even though he would never admit it to anyone. Not that anyone would find out, not unless one of them accidentally spilled their little arrangement, whatever it was. And Kris was already sworn to secrecy after he’d walked in on Baekhyun sucking Chanyeol off in the locker room after a game one night.

“Shower?” Chanyeol spoke up a few minutes later. There was no response, and he feared he’d waited too long and that Baekhyun was already asleep. He sat up slowly and rolled the smaller male so he was lying on his back on the bed, watching his eyelids flutter lightly. As bad as he felt, Chanyeol knew he had to wake him up, considering Baekhyun hated falling asleep covered in cum.

“Baekhyun? Come on, sweetheart.” Chanyeol prodded the male lightly, to which Baekhyun simply grumbled in his sleep and rolled over.

He did recall Baekhyun saying something about having a bad few days when he’d come over before they’d gotten, uh, busy, so Chanyeol eventually decided to let him sleep and just rinse him off. He’d just have to wake Baekhyun up early enough to grab a shower before class in the morning.

Chanyeol slipped out of bed carefully as to not wake the sleeping male and made his way over to the bathroom, where he wet a washcloth and took it back to the bedroom, cleaning Baekhyun off. Once he’d gotten him situated under the covers, Chanyeol grabbed some pajama pants and made his way back to the bathroom, intent on grabbing a shower himself.

He ended up washing his body twice, unable to get the lingering effects of sex off the first time, which tended to happen when sleeping with someone like Baekhyun. He may not have been someone on the basketball team like Chanyeol, but his stamina was nothing to laugh at.

Once he had brushed his teeth, Chanyeol made his way back to the bed, climbing in. And no, he definitely didn’t smile when Baekhyun automatically curled against his side.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun woke up alone the next morning to his alarm going off on the side table. He rolled over and killed it before sitting up. He ran a hand through his hair and grimaced, it was gross. Then again, he couldn’t remember taking a shower last night, so that must have been why.

Baekhyun rolled out of bed and stood up carefully, one hand rubbing his lower back as he let out a short breath.

“Fuck.”

“That you did.” Chanyeol walked in the room at that moment, all sweaty from what must have been his morning run.

_“5 miles, every morning.” Chanyeol had laughed at Baekhyun’s incredulous expression when he’d mentioned it, getting dressed one morning after spending the night fooling around in the sheets. “Sex isn’t enough, you know.”_

_“It’s enough for me.” Baekhyun had shot back, shaking his head. “You’re just not trying hard enough.”_

_“Really? That’s not what you were saying last night.” Chanyeol raised an eyebrow._

_“It’s what I’m saying_ now, _” Baekhyun smirked suggestively. “You might want to try again, you know, for your personal health.”_

_That had been the first morning in almost a year Chanyeol had skipped his run._

“I didn’t shower last night.” It was more of a statement than a question.

Chanyeol shook his head. “You were out like a light, I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. I’m about to go shower now, though, care to join me?”

Baekhyun glanced at the clock on the side table. “This goes against my better judgement, but yes, I would.”

“Come on, then, sweetheart. You don’t run, so you’re going to have to get some other kind of morning exercise in. Lucky for you, I’m all about making sure you’re getting the exercise you need.” Chanyeol smacked Baekhyun’s ass as he passed him to enter the bathroom.

“Lucky me.” He rolled his eyes and punched the basketball player in the shoulder in return.

 

* * *

 

“Cutting it close, don’t you think?” Kyungsoo asked without looking up from where he was already copying the first slide into his notebook.

“I made it, didn’t I?” Baekhyun replied, collapsing breathlessly into his seat.

Chanyeol had been right about getting Baekhyun’s morning exercise in. That sadist, he’d sucked Baekhyun off _twice_ in the shower, which may have felt great (albeit painful) at the time, but it had almost made him late to class.

Kyungsoo shrugged in response, his pen not stopping. “Where were you last night?”

“A friend’s.” Baekhyun pulled his own notebook and pen out and opened to a new page.

“Who?”

“You don’t know them.” Baekhyun shook his head and began copying the first slide down as the professor began her lecture.

“Baekhyun…” Kyungsoo whispered. “What’s going on with you?”

“ _Nothing_.” Baekhyun hissed back. “Now, please, shut up.”

Kyungsoo had stayed silent for the rest of class, and when they were dismissed Baekhyun packed his backpack in record time and lost himself in the crowd, hoping to disappear before Kyungsoo could ask any more questions.

“Baekhyun! You disappeared on us last night.”

 _Just my luck_ , Baekhyun thought as a hand clamped down on his shoulder and he was tugged against a warm body.

“I got caught up with a friend,” Baekhyun replied smoothly.

“Was it that _guy_ again?” Sehun’s voice dropped to a whisper as he and Baekhyun walked down the hallway and towards the main atrium.

“No.”

“Then whose shirt are you wearing?”

In shock, Baekhyun looked down to see that he was definitely wearing one of Chanyeol’s shirts. _Fuck. Fuck me. Please, just bury me._

He remembered running out of the shower and shoving his legs into his jeans that morning, and grabbing a random shirt off the ground to put on. Upon closer inspection, he realized that it was Chanyeol’s shirt from the night before. It wasn’t hard, Baekhyun remembered practically ripping it off just before Chanyeol went down on him.

“Uh…”

Of course, right then, Chanyeol and his friends had to walk by, distracting him from whatever excuse he was going to try and pull. Chanyeol met his eyes and nodded in his direction, his eyes doing a once-over before locking on his shirt on Baekhyun’s body and smirking.

“Well, whoever-it-is is on the basketball team, according to your shirt,” Kyungsoo spoke up, joining their group and elbowing Baekhyun in the gut. “You ran out on me.”

“Yeah, I’ve gotta go, you know, _class_.”

Sehun grabbed the handle of Baekhyun’s backpack before he could get too far. “You don’t have another class for almost two hours, shut the fuck up.”

“Is this basketball player your boyfriend?”

“No!” Baekhyun whirled around and glared at his two supposed best friends. “No basketball players, no boyfriends. What the fuck, I thought you knew me better than that? I don’t do relationships.” Baekhyun spat. “Leave me the hell alone.”

He shook out of Sehun’s grip and stormed out of the building, missing the way Chanyeol watched him worriedly as he pushed out the large door.

Baekhyun needed to go. He didn’t know where, but he needed to get out. He pushed out of the building and began walking in the direction of the central greens. It was cool out, but Baekhyun had accidentally left his jacket back at Chanyeol’s apartment in his rush to get to class that morning.

The cold was welcomed by the small male, though. It gave him something else to focus on so he wouldn’t get overwhelmed by the thought of his friends, who _knew that he hated the idea of relationships and committing to people_ , are trying to get him in a relationship. They don’t even know! They don’t know what’s going on with him and Chanyeol, not that it’s any of their business anyway.

Sure, they have sex a lot. Yeah, they study together at his apartment, and Chanyeol has helped him with calculus. And so what if Chanyeol cooks for him, or if Baekhyun sometimes goes over to Chanyeol’s apartment with no intentions of having sex and he just wants to sit and cuddle and watch a movie? So what if sometimes Chanyeol picks Baekhyun up in the middle of the night and they do nothing but drive around and talk? That doesn’t mean anything.

Baekhyun crossed his arms tightly in an attempt to ward off the cold. Just because they do that doesn’t mean they’re in a relationship, _it doesn’t_.

“Baekhyun!” Baekhyun whirled around to see Chanyeol jogging to catch up to him in all his redheaded, six-foot-three glory.

“Hey, Baekhyun.”

“What are you doing.” Baekhyun glanced around to see if anyone had seen them and turned to continue walking down the sidewalk.

“You looked frustrated, I just wanted to check on you.” Chanyeol fell into step alongside the smaller male, his hands shoved in his sweatshirt pocket.

“Well, I’m fine,” Baekhyun responded coldly.

“You’re shivering.”

“How observant of you.”

“Here.” Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun over to a bench beside the sidewalk and took off his backpack, pulling his sweatshirt over his head. “Take it.”

“Well, now _you’re_ going to be cold.” Baekhyun shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Baekhyun, just take it. I have an extra jacket in my sports locker, I have time to run and grab it before class.” Baekhyun opened his mouth again to try and argue, but he was cut off by Chanyeol. “Don’t be stubborn, sweetheart. Take the jacket.”

Baekhyun snorted at the cheesy nickname, taking the soft sweatshirt from Chanyeol’s hands. “Thank you.”

He pulled it on and smiled without really meaning to, burrowing into the comfort. Since Chanyeol had only just pulled it off, it was still warm from his body heat, and it smelled like him, too.

Chanyeol chuckled as he took in Baekhyun’s blissful face. “Okay, I’m going to run to the training building and grab my jacket. I’ll see you later? For dinner?”

“Yeah, sure.” Baekhyun responded, watching as Chanyeol began jogging down the sidewalk towards the large athletic building just past the library.

Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun shoved his hands in the sweatshirt pocket and began walking again, heading for the library with the intent of doing the homework he hadn’t done the night before thanks to a distraction by the name of Park Chanyeol.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun couldn’t remember exactly when, but at some point after they had been sleeping together for a little over a month, Chanyeol had given him a key to his apartment. Baekhyun kept it on his own keychain, using it almost as much if not more than his own key.

It became a routine, a few times a week Baekhyun would go straight to Chanyeol’s and do his homework until the taller got out of basketball practice. Practice was Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 3 to 6:30, and Baekhyun got out of class on those days at 4. He’d spread himself out in the living room, taking over the coffee table to do his homework while waiting for the taller to come back, where he would make dinner for the two, perhaps get some homework done, and then take Baekhyun to bed, one way or another. Some Fridays that didn’t happen, Baekhyun would go straight home, but they’d meet back up at a party and end back up at Chanyeol’s anyway.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol had met at a party, a mutual, very drunk, friend running to Chanyeol while Baekhyun tried to wrangle him in and keep him from making an absolute ass of himself. Chanyeol had actually helped Baekhyun take him home, stripping their friend and dumping him in bed. Chanyeol had offered to take Baekhyun home next, though Baekhyun had commented smartly “only if you’re coming with me.” Chanyeol’s apartment had been closer at that point in time, and, not to exaggerate, but it had been the best sex of Baekhyun’s young adult life.

He’d stayed over the whole weekend, Chanyeol somehow managed to put his number in Baekhyun’s phone despite the fact that the smaller refused to stop making out with him in the car outside of his apartment complex. The routine fell into place shortly after that.

And somewhere along the line, the pair had started _not_ having sex all the time. Chanyeol would sometimes come home and simply collapse on Baekhyun, asking the smaller to order takeout and they’d curl up on the couch, put something on the TV as background noise (Chanyeol had gotten Baekhyun hooked on Stranger Things, something he would only watch when he was over at Chanyeol’s), and Baekhyun would brush through Chanyeol’s still damp, dark red hair and listen as the male complained about excess drills, or about some teammates who pissed him off.

Sometimes they went out for dinner instead of ordering in, and one night after it had already been dark for hours but they hadn’t yet tired of each other’s company, Chanyeol had driven them in circles around the town and a little outside of it, and the pair just _talked_. Sometimes they complained, sometimes they laughed, sometimes they cried. They talked of their childhoods, their parents, their plans after graduation, past relationships (though not once did Baekhyun’s fear of commitment come up. Baekhyun figured at this point he was subconsciously avoiding that conversation, and he found he was totally okay with it.).

Chanyeol knew more about Baekhyun than Kyungsoo or Sehun did, and that thought scared him. Yet, Chanyeol seemed to have that effect on him. He could just be open, all the time. He was never judged, Chanyeol never once laughed at him, and he’d proved himself to be quite the consoler even when Baekhyun had seemed inconsolable.

It was a usual Friday. Chanyeol had texted to see if Baekhyun was planning to go to a party, but the smaller had turned down, saying he was tired but that Chanyeol could feel free to go if he wanted to. The taller turned down, insisting that he’d much rather spend the night with Baekhyun.

So Baekhyun made his way to Chanyeol’s apartment and laid his laptop on the coffee table, opening his notebook, and got to work. He had been halfway through his calculus worksheet when the main door slammed shut, and harsh footsteps rang throughout the small studio.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun called, looking up to see the redhead throwing his backpack on the ground angrily. “What is it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Chanyeol spoke shortly, giving Baekhyun a look that sent shivers down his spine. “I don’t want to talk tonight.”

He crossed the living room in three strides, sitting on the couch and grabbing Baekhyun’s arms. He pulled roughly, and Baekhyun gasped as he was dragged into Chanyeol’s lap. The taller quickly claimed his lips in a bruising kiss, his hands sitting possessively on Baekhyun’s hips. Baekhyun shifted around for a minute, eventually getting comfortable on his muscled thighs and resting his knees on either side of them on the couch.

Park Chanyeol wasted no time, as Baekhyun was reminded as he ripped Baekhyun’s shirt up and over his head, dropping it on the floor somewhere and mouthing sloppily at his collarbones.

“Shit—” Baekhyun moaned, his head falling back and his hands finding purchase in Chanyeol’s damp hair. “ _Shit_ , Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol’s hands planted themselves on Baekhyun’s ass, palming and squeezing him through his jeans, pulling him closer. He pulled back a minute later, admiring the reddening mark on Baekhyun’s neck by pressing a couple light kisses to it, contrasting the rough sucking he’d been doing up to that point.

 _Thank god for basketball_ , Baekhyun found himself thinking as Chanyeol stood up easily, his arms holding Baekhyun against his chest as their lips returned to each other. Baekhyun locked his ankles together at Chanyeol’s lower back, and the taller held one hand out to push the large divider open, giving the pair access to his bed.

Baekhyun grunted as his back hit the bed, crawling back as Chanyeol began working at the button and zipper of his jeans, pulling them down as Baekhyun continued to slide back to the center of the large bed. Chanyeol retook his spot between Baekhyun’s legs, kissing and biting his way up his thighs and skipping over the tent in his briefs to trail his lips further up Baekhyun’s stomach.

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun whined, arching into Chanyeol as the taller took his nipple in his mouth, sucking and biting. His hands tangled in his hair once again, fisting and tugging, though he wasn’t sure what he even wanted.

Chanyeol hummed in response, his large hands wandering around Baekhyun’s chest and pressing him back into the mattress. He held him down and licked his way up to Baekhyun’s neck, lapping at it as his right hand ghosted down Baekhyun’s flushed body to palm at his erection.

Baekhyun bucked his hips up when he did, a strangled gasp making its way out chapped lips. A moan followed as Chanyeol’s palming became more insistent, Baekhyun’s grip on Chanyeol’s hair tightening.

Chanyeol sat up for a second to pull his shirt off, throwing it away before he trapped Baekhyun to the bed again, his gaze almost predatory as he bit particularly hard on the junction between Baekhyun’s shoulder and neck.

Baekhyun’s breath was coming out in shallow pants now as he continuously bucked his hips up, rutting against Chanyeol’s thigh through his thin workout shorts.

“Ch-Chanyeol— _Chanyeol_ …off.” Baekhyun pulled mindlessly at Chanyeol’s shorts, just wanting more of everything. More skin, more friction, more of Chanyeol.

“Hold on.” Chanyeol murmured, sitting up and shimmying out of his shorts, leaving him in nothing but his briefs. He paused while he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes locked on something on his dresser.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun groaned impatiently. His hands grabbed at Chanyeol’s hips once he returned to the bed, pulling him down so they were laying flush. Chanyeol chuckled at the smaller’s impatience, obliging and kissing him again.

Chanyeol’s hands ran along Baekhyun’s arms, taking his wrists and pulling them above his head. He crossed them at the wrists and grabbed his leather belt—which he’d gotten up to retrieve from the dressed a minute ago—and wrapped it securely around his wrists. Baekhyun tugged experimentally once he did, feeling the tautness dig into the pale skin of his wrists and loving it. Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol as he sat up, knowing what the belt meant. He’d had a bad day at practice and wanted to prove something—Baekhyun was all too happy to comply.

“They don’t listen.” Chanyeol growled, his eyes going even darker as he adjusted Baekhyun’s hands so they were stretched all the way above his head, the weight of his head locking his arms in place. “I’m supposed to be the _captain_.” He scoffed. “How am I supposed to be the captain when I can’t control them?”

He dropped down, his breath ghosting over Baekhyun’s neck. “But _you_ , I can control. I can take care of you.” He pressed a feather kiss to his neck. “You’re all I care about anyway.”

Baekhyun sucked in a breath as Chanyeol kissed all the way down his chest, his stomach, and finally pulling down his briefs. Baekhyun hissed as Chanyeol grabbed his stiff erection, lightly thumbing the tip as he began pressing kisses to his hips.

“M-more.” Baekhyun stuttered, thrusting up weakly. “Please, Chanyeol, more.”

“Like this?” Chanyeol’s hand circled at the base of Baekhyun’s dick, dragging slowly up as Baekhyun moaned. “Is this what you want, sweetheart?”

“ _Shit_.” Chanyeol repeated the motion and Baekhyun keened into his grip, his cock leaking embarrassingly. “Chanyeol, please, _please_ just fuck me.”

Chanyeol hummed and pulled back, fumbling through the drawer for lube.

“Chanyeol, hurry up.” Baekhyun pleaded, watching as Chanyeol took his time taking his briefs off. “ _Chanyeol_.”

“Okay, okay, Baek, okay.” Chanyeol lathered the lube along his three fingers and slid two straight in, Baekhyun’s back arching off the bed at the sudden fullness. “See, control.” He mumbled, more for himself than Baekhyun as the smaller tried to adjust to Chanyeol’s fingers scissoring him open. “I’m in charge here.”

“Yeah, whatever you say.” Baekhyun breathed out. “More.”

Chanyeol hummed again, adding his third, and eventually fourth fingers. “Look at you, you’re doing so good for me, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun bit his lip and spread his legs as far as he could, Chanyeol’s free hand rubbing along his inner thigh. “I’m so proud, you’re taking in four of my fingers like a pro, Baek, look at you.” Chanyeol pulled his fingers out, Baekhyun crying out at the emptiness. “Hold on, sweetheart. I’m going to make you feel so good in just a minute, I promise.”

“Hurry the fuck up!” Baekhyun cried out, his cock curving up towards his stomach so much _it hurt_.

“Well, when you put it like that…” Chanyeol entered Baekhyun in one thrust, pinning his hips to the bed so the smaller was basically immobilized.

“ _Fuck_!” Baekhyun’s back arched at the sudden sensation, his head falling back to rest against his arms. “ _Chanyeol_.”

Chanyeol began thrusting, unsheathing himself almost completely before slamming fully back into Baekhyun, the headboard of the bed thudding against the wall. He continued the process again and again, leaving Baekhyun a blubbering, moaning mess below him. He moaned loudly with each thrust, his eyes closed in pure bliss.

“Faster, Chanyeol, please.” He managed eventually. He opened his eyes to see Chanyeol shaking his head, leaning on his forearms on either side of Baekhyun’s head. “Chanyeol?”

“Not yet.” He gasped out. “Just like this for a while.” He kept going, filling Baekhyun fully but slowly, and he thought he would go crazy.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Chanyeol sat up and picked up the pace, thrusting into Baekhyun at an inhuman speed. Baekhyun cried out brokenly at the change, his legs trying to wrap around Chanyeol’s smooth back to draw him in faster, deeper with each thrust.

“Oh god, Chanyeol, oh my god, untie me.” Baekhyun managed, trying to see Chanyeol through the tears filling his eyes. “Chanyeol, _please_ , I need to come.”

Chanyeol shook his head. “Not yet.” He repeated, and Baekhyun cried out at both the intense pleasure and extreme frustration.

“I’m going to go crazy, Chanyeol, _please_ ,” Baekhyun begged, trying to pull his arms apart through the leather as Chanyeol simply picked up his thrusts.

“Hold on for me, Baek. Can you do that? Can you hold on just a little longer?”

“No!” Baekhyun’s voice cracked, but he didn’t care. “No, please Chanyeol, untie me, touch me, something.”

“Touch you?” Chanyeol’s hand came between them and began stroking at Baekhyun’s cock. “Like this?”

“Oh my god, yes, don’t stop.” Baekhyun moaned out, his hips coming up to jerk in Chanyeol’s hands and meet each of his thrusts. “Don’t stop, please, Chanyeol, I’m almost there.” Baekhyun was seeing spots, stars along the ceiling.

“Come then, Baekhyun, come for me.” Chanyeol demanded, jerking Baekhyun off furiously at the same pace as his thrusts.

Baekhyun came a few thrusts later with a desperate scream, moaning Chanyeol’s name as the taller rode him through his orgasm until he was completely spent.

Chanyeol pulled out then, jerking himself until he came too, his own release mixing with Baekhyun’s on both their chests.

“Shit.” Baekhyun whispered, his breathing labored.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked, holding himself up on weak arms as he reached up to pull Baekhyun’s hands down, unwinding the leather and throwing it off the bed.

“Oh my _god_ —that _hurt_ , you asshole.” Baekhyun rolled his wrists out and ran his hands through his hair. “You can’t _do_ that to me—I actually thought my dick was going to come off. What the hell happened that got you so worked up?”

“I don’t know.” Chanyeol shook his head, rolling over so he was on his stomach and burying his face in a pillow. “I have no idea—it just sucked.”

Baekhyun hummed, rolling on his side so he was facing Chanyeol. His hand rested on Chanyeol’s shoulder hesitantly, but when he saw the tension leave his shoulders at the touch, he began rubbing soothing circles on the basketball captain’s shoulder. Chanyeol turned his head and watched Baekhyun as he focused on massaging his shoulders, sitting up and leaning over him.

“You’re so good to me.” Chanyeol breathed out, his eyes closing as he focused on the skilled fingers working on his back and shoulders. Baekhyun hummed for Chanyeol to keep talking, and he did.

“No one else listens to me, at least they didn’t today. Normally they’re good kids, really, but they were so unfocused during practice today. And you know why?” Chanyeol opened his eyes to look at Baekhyun. “The _cheerleaders_ were practicing on the next court over. Being straight seems so stressful, those bastards.”

Baekhyun laughed, but Chanyeol ignored it and kept talking. “The only ones focused were me, Kris, and Sehun. The rest were ogling all the short skirts and tight shirts all practice, and then me and Kris got chewed out by the coach. We’re playing Berkwood next weekend—we lost to them last year by two points. One of the biggest games of the season, and my players are getting distracted by _girls_!” He fisted the comforter in frustration.

“Girls suck.” Baekhyun agreed, and Chanyeol cracked a smile.

“Yeah, guys are a lot better.”

“Alright, hotshot, you’re good to lay here and wallow in your own cum if you want, but I’m going to take a shower.” Baekhyun pushed off the bed, ignoring the dull ache in his back as he dug through Chanyeol’s dresser for fresh briefs and a sweatshirt.

At some point, Baekhyun had brought over four pairs of his own underwear to keep, for emergencies, of course.

Chanyeol never joined Baekhyun in the shower, but he wasn’t in bed when Baekhyun got out like he’d been expecting. Baekhyun passed the taller while he was in the kitchen, wearing just a loose pair of sweatpants and mixing a protein shake to have since he’d never eaten dinner after practice. Baekhyun turned down his offer of making him one too, saying he just wanted to go to sleep.

“Don’t stay up too late.” Baekhyun commented, loitering in the doorway to Chanyeol’s bedroom area after he’d pulled on a large hoodie.

“I won’t. I’m just going to drink this and go through my emails, and grab a shower.” Chanyeol told him, coming over to press a sweet peck to his lips. “I’ll join you soon, I promise.”

Baekhyun nodded and turned around to go to bed, crawling under the heavy covers on his usual side and curling up. He looked through the glass panes to see Chanyeol sitting down at the small kitchen table at the other side of the studio, his laptop open and his half-drank shake in his hand, glasses propped on his nose.

 _Boyfriend material_ , he heard Kyungsoo’s voice in his head. _If I had to pick someone to be official boyfriend material, it would be Park Chanyeol._

Baekhyun hadn’t known him personally at the time, and so he’d scoffed. _Just because he’s tall and hot?_

 _He seems nice_. Kyungsoo had shrugged. _He’s in my business seminar, he’s smart too. Oh well, not that either of us_ are _going to find out anytime soon, right?_

Baekhyun decided that yes, Chanyeol was official boyfriend material, and he’d make a great partner to someone one day.

Not that Baekhyun had any intention to find out.

 

* * *

 

“So _just_ to be clear.” Sehun swallowed another mouthful of ice cream before pointing the spoon at Baekhyun. “You’ve been seeing some ‘mystery guy,’ as we’ll refer to him since you refuse to disclose a name, for like, two months now. You have a key to his apartment, you two have sex at least, what, three times a week? _And_ you guys do pansy pillow talk in bed, but real pillow talk not in bed, by driving around and wasting his gas in the middle of the night? Does that sound right to you?”

“That’s everything.” Baekhyun nodded and put a bite of his own chocolate ice cream in his mouth.

“And you’re not dating?”

“ _Sehun_.” Baekhyun groaned, exasperated. “No. We’re not dating.”

“But you sound like you’re dating. You guys do all the gross couple-y things, which you just admitted of your own free will, need I remind you, and if you’ve stuck around this long then you obviously like him, one way or another.”

“So?”

“So?” Sehun looked at him as though he’d grown two heads. “ _So_? So, what’s wrong with just making things official and being boyfriends so I can meet this hottie and swoon over your relationship in public?”

“I can’t do that. Then I would just be conforming to social norms of the human need to be able to define everything only for other’s personal benefit.” Baekhyun swirled his spoon around in his ice cream. “Why should I be forced to give some stupid label to something just so when other people ask, they know what I’m talking about?”

“For ease, so people can understand what you’re going through.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “No. People only ask so they can judge. You say you have a boyfriend and they get this picture in their head of what your relationship looks like, what your sex life looks like, all of the sudden they think they know everything. And then they think they’re entitled to butting into your business because they know that you have a boyfriend, and all of the sudden that becomes the only important information about you. You become less of a person and more of a source of entertainment, something they can watch and congratulate when things go well or laugh at when things get fucked.”

“That’s not true.” Sehun countered. “People ask so they can be a part of your life, so they can know what’s going on. I’m only asking because I want to keep an eye on you, because if you guys become an official thing and he hurts you I’m going to kill him.”

“Sure you will.” Baekhyun thought about all the times he’d seen Sehun and Chanyeol talking and laughing, their arms thrown around each other and tripping each other and shoving each other into walls. “But that means we’d have to become official, which I have no intentions of doing, you see.”

“Why is it so hard for you to just say that ‘yes, you’re dating.’” Sehun sighed. “I just don’t _get_ it.”

“You get put in a box. People get these expectations when they hear trigger words, and they begin sorting you into their ideal picture of what you should look like, and act like, and whatever the fuck else people pay attention to. And then, somehow, you won’t fill up those boxes they have in their head and then you become a _mistake_ , a problem, and you’re not good enough or worth their time anymore.” Baekhyun let out a frustrated breath. “It’s like, all of the sudden you’re expendable, and they’ll just move on, or hate you for not living up to expectation others have of you, when that’s not really important. All that should matter is if you live up to your expectations of you, which is a concept that has been thrown under the mat and stepped on because we live in a world of hypocrisy.”

Sehun hummed.

“I mean, seriously, when did it all of a sudden not become enough that you’re proud of yourself, why do other people need to be proud of you too? Why should anyone else even matter?” Baekhyun chuckled humorlessly. “People are so stupid, manipulative, and needy. And I refuse to be a part of that growing entitlement. The human race can just get fucked.” Baekhyun finished bitterly, stabbing his spoon into what was left of his ice cream which he had mixed to practically a liquid.

“Right.” Sehun eyed Baekhyun warily. “This seems upstanding. What’s your story?”

“There is none. I just find the whole idea of unnecessary labels stupid and pointless, and a good way to cause problems.” Baekhyun sighed. “Anyway, I’m going to go now.”

“Baekhyun, look I’m sorry if I—”

“Don’t. It’s fine. I just need to go, okay? I’ll see you later.” Baekhyun tossed his paper bowl and spoon in the trash, leaving Sehun sitting alone at their table and making for the door. He blinked a couple times to clear his eyes of the tears he could feel building up. It was _frustrating_ , being the only person who felt like this and being outcasted by his own friends for it. They didn’t understand, no matter how many times Baekhyun tried to tell them.

Why now, of all places and all times in all the universes, did the two basketball captains and their usual friends (minus Sehun) have to push through the same doors Baekhyun had been heading towards?

Baekhyun froze, his eyes raking over the group before he shuffled to the side, his eyes now on the floor as he made to shove past the athletes.

He hadn’t been able to avert his eyes quickly enough, and Chanyeol spotted the tears almost immediately, the smile dropping from his face and concern taking its place. Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair as he pushed by, and Chanyeol turned to Kris.

“Hey, I think I left my wallet in the car, I’ll be right back.” He turned and followed the upset male out of the ice cream parlor, missing the way Sehun had watched him, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched his captain grab Baekhyun’s shoulder just outside. He saw Baekhyun look around for a second before grabbing Chanyeol’s arm and pulling him away from the window, probably to the alley on the side of the parlor.

Sehun waited, but Chanyeol never came back in the parlor.

He pulled out his phone, texting Kyungsoo. _You said Baek’s guy was on the basketball team, right?_

 

* * *

 

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Chanyeol asked. Upon feeling Baekhyun shake his head against his chest, Chanyeol sighed, his hand running along Baekhyun’s bare back.

After he’d followed the smaller male out of the ice cream parlor and seen how upset he was, he’d decided instantly to just take him home, leaving his teammates to instead get Baekhyun in his car. Baekhyun had refused to say what had upset him, putting his energy into trying to stop his tears the whole drive back to the apartment. Once they’d made it inside, Chanyeol had just pulled his shoes off when Baekhyun was quite literally on top of him. They’d barely made it to the bed before their pants were coming off, their movements hurried and, in Baekhyun’s case, desperate.

Baekhyun hadn’t gotten up to go shower afterwards, either. Once they’d finished, Baekhyun had curled into Chanyeol side and seemed to make himself as small as possible. Chanyeol hadn’t mentioned anything until much later, when he figured Baekhyun was calm enough to not freak out when Chanyeol asked him what had upset him.

“It’s not a big deal.” Baekhyun spoke up finally, his words slightly slurred from his head still resting against Chanyeol’s bare chest. “I just got overwhelmed and stressed. I’m sorry for pulling you away from your friends.”

“It’s fine.” Chanyeol assured him. “Really. I’d rather spend time with you rather than those fuckers any day.”

“You mean you’d rather fuck me any day.”

“That too.” Baekhyun sighed and sat up. “Well, I’m going to grab a shower. Is it okay if I hang here for a while?”

“Sure.” Chanyeol watched as Baekhyun made his way to the bathroom at the other side of the studio. “I have a basketball meeting at 6, and a review group at 7. I should be home around 8:30 or so, if you’re still planning on being here.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun called. “I probably will be.” The door slammed and the shower started.

Chanyeol was gone by the time Baekhyun got out of the shower, leaving him with a note saying that there were leftovers in the fridge if he got hungry, and that he’d text Baekhyun when he got done to see if he wanted him to bring something for dinner.

Baekhyun pulled on another one of Chanyeol’s hoodies—his basketball team one, with his name and number on the back—and his briefs and curled back up in the bed, burrowing under the covers and opening his laptop.

Baekhyun had been halfway through an essay on the political unrest in modern-day South Korea when his phone began ringing. Grumbling because it was in the kitchen, Baekhyun rolled out of bed and pushed through the glass barrier, picking the phone up. He really just wanted to throw it out the window.

 _Of course_ , Sehun was the one calling him. His phone stopped ringing after a second and Baekhyun saw how many text messages he’d gotten, from both Sehun and Kyungsoo. Sehun’s were mostly apologies while Kyungsoo’s were filled with demands of _where are you_ , and _meet us for dinner_.

Kyungsoo called a second later, and Baekhyun answered, determined to get his friends off his back.

“What.”

“ _Baekhyun, stop being petty._ ” Kyungsoo’s reply came through. “ _Come meet us for dinner, we want to talk to you.”_

“No thanks.”

“ _Baekhyun_.”

“Thanks for the offer, Kyungsoo, but I’m going to have to pass.” Baekhyun crawled back in bed, pulling the covers tight around himself again.

“ _Sehun’s sorry. Don’t be a dick, come let him apologize to you in person, and let’s all make up over some nice, steaming hotpot. Come on, Baek._ ” Kyungsoo tried to get him to change his mind.

“No, Kyungsoo, I’m busy.”

“ _Homework?_ ”

“I’m working on the essay for Dr. Jang’s class—the political one.”

Kyungsoo sighed. “ _Where are you?_ ”

“Oh my god, Kyungsoo, why does it matter?” Baekhyun asked, exasperated.

“ _Sehun went over to your place to try and talk to you earlier, but Jongdae said you never came home. I’m just worried about you, that’s all._ ”

“Well, don’t be. I’m fine.”

“ _Are you over at his place?_ ”

Baekhyun’s breath hitched. “So what if I am?”

Baekhyun could hear Sehun saying something to Kyungsoo, the speaker muffled by what must have been Kyungsoo’s hand. “ _Baekhyun, please. Just meet us, okay?_ ”

Baekhyun bit his lip nervously, fingers drumming along the comforter. “I can’t, I’m busy.”

“ _The essay can wait, Baekhyun. I know that Chanyeol is at that review session that I skipped since Sehun was freaking out that you hadn’t called him back. Seriously, Baek, we just want to talk to you._ ”

“What’s this about Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked accusingly. “What the fuck, Kyungsoo?”

“ _Shit. Baek, I just—_ ”

“No, Kyungsoo, that’s enough. Ask Sehun what I told him earlier. It’s none of either of your, or anyone else’s, business what we are to each other. Shut the fuck up and get your ass out of where it doesn’t belong.”

“ _Baekhyun, please—_ ”

Baekhyun cut the phone and threw it across the room, not paying attention to where it landed but getting satisfaction out of hearing a dull thud against the wall and another as his phone hit the ground. It was probably broken but Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to care.

It wasn’t fair. Why were they trying to corner him and force a relationship out of him? It wasn’t their business, it wasn’t their relationship, they had no right. Baekhyun curled in on himself in the bed, suddenly feeling very small and very lonely in the studio.

Baekhyun shut his laptop and set it on the side table, pulling the covers up so only his face was sticking out, his knees tight against his chest. They were supposed to be his _friends_ , he was supposed to be able to trust them. And yet, they go behind his back to find the identity of the guy Baekhyun had said he wasn’t comfortable saying yet and are now trying to apologize, only to end up coercing him into a “real,” as Sehun put it, relationship.

Not going to fucking happen. Not a chance.

Eventually, the miserable little ball that was Byun Baekhyun dozed off, and was woken up by a hand running through his hair.

Baekhyun hummed, blinking the last remains of sleep from his eyes and focusing on Chanyeol’s smiling face.

“Hey, I texted you, but I guess this explains why you didn’t respond. I brought home Thai, if you’re hungry.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun pushed so he was sitting up, a hand trying to tame his bedhead as his eyes swept the studio, locking on a takeout bag on the kitchen counter. “I haven’t eaten anything all day.”

“Where is your phone, anyway?” Chanyeol asked, taking Baekhyun’s hands and helping him stand up from the bed.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Baekhyun stretched his arms over his head. “Go grab the plates, I’ll meet you in there once I find my jeans.”

Chanyeol eyed him worriedly but eventually nodded, turning and walking towards the kitchen. Baekhyun joined him a minute later, his dark blue jeans now covering his legs. He walked over to the bag and began pulling containers out while Chanyeol filled a couple glasses with water.

“You do know that pants aren’t required, right?” Chanyeol hip checked Baekhyun lightly when he passed him on his way to the table.

“They are when it is cold as all fuck outside.” Baekhyun shot back, rolling his eyes.

Chanyeol laughed and helped Baekhyun open all the containers, filling their plates and then they were sitting at the table, their ankles locked together under the table as Chanyeol began talking about the meeting with the coach from earlier.

“Oh, that reminds me, Sehun asked about you.”

“Oh?” Baekhyun froze up momentarily before relaxing. “What did he say?”

“He’d just asked where you were, if you were okay.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him that you were here, relaxing and doing homework, and that you were fine.” Chanyeol took a drink of his water. “He seemed worried about you. Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, we just had an argument.” Baekhyun began pushing his noodles around on his plate.

“Is that why you were in such a rush to leave the parlor earlier?” Chanyeol asked.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun pulled his feet back, crossing them under his chair where not even Chanyeol’s famous thousand-mile legs could reach. “But it’s fine.”

“Baekhyun…”

“Seriously, it’s fine.”

“Does this have anything to do with the fact that we haven’t made anything official yet?”

Baekhyun froze. “W-what?”

Chanyeol sighed. “Sehun had asked if we’d talked after he saw us leave the parlor together, and I just said no, it hadn’t come up. We had a nice conversation about it, though.”

“No, you-you said ‘yet.’” Baekhyun took another drink of water, his throat was suddenly very, very dry.

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol reached across the table to try and grab for his hand, but Baekhyun pulled it back before he could get close. “Can we talk?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Baekhyun pushed back from the table, standing up so quickly his chair almost fell down.

“Baekhyun, talk to me.”

“I can’t.” Baekhyun gasped out. He took a step back, falling against the wall. “I can’t do this.”

“Baekhyun, hold on—” Chanyeol stood up too, his hands outstretched as though he were facing a panicked animal. “Breathe, we can talk about this.”

“No. No, I’m not having this conversation again.” Baekhyun avoided Chanyeol’s arm and grabbed his backpack from the bedroom and shoved his feet into his shoes, all in a rushed kind of panic.

“Baekhyun, _please_.” Chanyeol put a hand on the door and held it shut when Baekhyun tried to pull it open. “Please, let’s talk this out, don’t do anything rash, okay?”

“I…” Baekhyun turned to look up at Chanyeol with nothing but pure fear in his eyes. “I can’t. No.” He elbowed Chanyeol sharply in the stomach, throwing him off balance enough to wretch the door open. Baekhyun took off down the hallway and was already in the staircase by the time Chanyeol made it out the door, standing stunned and alone in the middle of the hallway.

“Baekhyun?” He yelled once, hoping for an answer but hearing nothing.

 _Shit_.

“Oh, shit. Shit, shit, _shit_.” Chanyeol ran back into the apartment and grabbed his phone and his keys, leaving his shoes and jogging down the stairs.

“Baekhyun!” He yelled once he’d pushed out the front door of the building. Chanyeol searched the streets for a small, blond-haired male wearing his basketball sweatshirt, but he couldn’t find him anywhere. “Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol grabbed his phone, ignoring the strange looks he was getting since he was standing outside with no shoes and no jacket, and dialed Baekhyun’s number.

Voicemail.

Again and again, Chanyeol tried calling Baekhyun only to be sent straight to voicemail.

Chanyeol switched gears and called Sehun, the sophomore answering after the second ring.

“ _What’s up, cap?_ ”

“Has Baekhyun called you?”

“ _No, why?_ ”

Chanyeol ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “He ran out on me.”

“ _Shit. What happened?_ ”

“I brought up our conversation and he freaked and took the fuck off like the place was on fire. He isn’t answering any of my calls, and it’s late. I’m worried about him.” Chanyeol relayed, his eyes still searching the streets in hopes of spotting the male.

“ _Oh, um…well I don’t know—Kyungsoo!_ ” Sehun’s voice was muffled as he covered the speaker and spoke with Kyungsoo for a minute. “ _Hey, you know where Aunt Em’s is off campus, the south side?_ ”

“Yeah.”

“ _Meet us there, we’ll talk and try and figure out where he could be._ ”

“I’ll be there in 15.” Chanyeol hung up his phone and, after one last frantic glance around, he headed back up to his apartment where he grabbed a jacket and his shoes, and wallet, and was out the door again.

Chanyeol got to the coffee shop after Sehun and Kyungsoo, and he located them quickly at a table near the window. He pulled out a chair next to Sehun and across from Kyungsoo, who was now glaring daggers at their newest guest.

“Kyungsoo, be nice.” Sehun elbowed him, annoyed.

“This is all his fault.” Kyungsoo hissed, angrily stirring his spoon in his coffee.

“Kyungsoo—”

“No, he’s right.” Chanyeol cut Sehun off. “I should’ve been more delicate with the matter, since he was mad about that same thing earlier. I was an idiot, you both have every right to be mad at me.”

Kyungsoo regarded him for a minute before sighing. “Order something,” He nodded in the direction of the waitress walking towards their table, “then we’ll talk.”

“Hi, welcome to Aunt Em’s! I’m Wendy, what can I get for you tonight?” The waitress smiled brightly at Chanyeol.

“Uh…can I just get an Americano, sweet?”

Wendy nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as she left, Sehun looked up from his phone. “Junmyeon said he hasn’t seen him, and he’s been home all day.”

“And if he left _your_ apartment, even by walking he should’ve made it home by now.” Kyungsoo groaned. “Where the hell is he?”

Sehun shook his head. “He usually goes to me or Kyungsoo when he’s upset about something. He’s never been mad at either of us before, I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ve called him five times now.” Kyungsoo said as Wendy brought Chanyeol his coffee. “He hasn’t answered any of them.”

Thunder clapped outside then, lightning following and lighting up the street.

“Shit.” The three looked outside, dreading the rain that was sure to follow.

“There goes my idea of running out onto the streets to look for him.” Sehun grumbled.

“Sehun, be serious!” Kyungsoo hit him in the arm. “It’s about to rain, it’s already cold outside, and we have no idea where he is.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do?” Sehun asked. “And I was being serious.”

“I forgot how much Baekhyun and I balance out your stupidity.” Kyungsoo snapped.

“Okay, guys, seriously.” Chanyeol put his phone on the table from where he had been spam texting Baekhyun, hoping for a reply. “Let’s just calm down and think for a second. Do you know of anyone else Baekhyun might go to if he was upset?”

Kyungsoo and Sehun sat quietly for a minute, sipping their drinks and thinking. Chanyeol’s phone went off then, and the three jumped, hoping it was Baekhyun. Chanyeol groaned. “It’s just Kris.”

“Fuck!” Kyungsoo buried his face in his hands, leaning on the table. “Byun Baekhyun, why are you so damn _complicated_.”

“What’s his problem, anyway? Why did he run off?” Chanyeol asked.

Kyungsoo and Sehun glanced at each other and had a silent conversation through eyebrows and head tilts.

“He sort of has this problem with, uh, commitment.” Kyungsoo spoke up as it began pouring outside. “As long as I’ve known him, he’s never been with the same guy more than a couple times, and the idea of having a boyfriend, a real boyfriend, is sickening to him.”

“It’s not just that, though.” Sehun cut it, stirring his coffee and watching it with a thoughtful expression. “It’s this whole idea of labelling and staking a claim on things, the concept that you give something a label and that comes with expectations and ideas and judgement and all of the sudden, things aren’t private anymore.”

“So Baekhyun ran off when I asked him to talk about us becoming official because he has commitment issues?” Chanyeol asked, trying to work that idea into his head.

Kyungsoo nodded. “I’ve only seen him as serious as he is with you once, during our senior year of high school. Same thing, the guy wanted to become official, Baekhyun freaked out and said no, and the guy slapped him and left. They were together what, a month before that happened?” He shrugged. “He hasn’t let himself get close to a guy since then. Well, until you, that is.”

“So you’re saying that as long as we don’t put a label on our, uh, whatever-we-have, we should be okay?” Chanyeol drummed his fingers thoughtfully on the table.

“Theoretically, yes.” Kyungsoo took another sip of his coffee.

“That’s uncharted territory, though.” Sehun said. “Who knows if that would actually work, you know? That’s the idea, there’s probably some math equation that you could use to make that work, like substitution or some other bullshit—”

“If you’d actually paid attention you would know.” Kyungsoo added helpfully.

“But it’s a hypothesis. It has to be tested for it to work.”

“Tested multiple times, at least three, I think, for it to be considered a theory.”

“Not helping, Soo.” Sehun rolled his eyes.

“I’m okay with that, though.” Chanyeol insisted. “I don’t care about labels or titles or any of that other bullshit. I just care about Baekhyun, but he ran off before I could tell him that.”

“He needs to hear that.” Kyungsoo said, leveling his eyes at Chanyeol. “You need to tell him that, exactly that, make sure he understands that you don’t want a label or _anything_ , just as long as you two can continue your not-relationship.”

“I would if I could get in touch with him!” Chanyeol ran a hand through his hair and looked outside, where the rain had only gotten harder during their conversation. “Right now I don’t even care, I just need to make sure he’s okay.”

Sehun sighed. “I think we’re underestimating him. This is Baekhyun we’re talking about, he knows what he’s doing. I’m sure he’s not dumb enough to get caught in the rain like this. He must have called someone to pick him up. He may be irrational, but he’s not an idiot. Let’s just trust that he’s okay and try and relax, and see if we can get in touch with him tomorrow?”

“I have class with him at 9:30, I’ll look for him and let you guys know if he’s there.” Kyungsoo added helpfully. “Chanyeol, give me your number, I’ll text you if I hear anything.”

Chanyeol nodded and put his number in Kyungsoo’s phone mindlessly, his focus on Baekhyun, and where he was.

Sehun was right, of course. Baekhyun was too smart to allow himself to get caught in the rain, Chanyeol had to trust that, and trust him. He would take care of himself, and if he needed time away from Chanyeol he was more than willing to give it to him. As long as it took, just as long as Baekhyun would come back so that Chanyeol could explain.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun pounded on Tao’s door again, wrapping his arms around himself. He was _freezing_ , and _of course_ , it had started raining while he was running from his damn issues and the greatest thing to ever happen in his life like some goddamn movie—

“Shit, Baekhyun, what the fuck?” Tao pulled the shivering boy inside, almost recoiling at how cold his hands were. “Oh my god, why the hell were you out in the rain?” Thunder shook the apartment to emphasize his point.

“I-I need, _shit_ , I just—” Baekhyun stammered, shivering uncontrollably.

“Give me your stuff and go shower. Now.” Tao demanded, pulling Baekhyun’s backpack off his back and cringing at how wet it was. “Do you have your phone in here? Your laptop?”

“I don’t know.” Baekhyun ripped the soaking sweatshirt and his t-shirt off in one go. “I think I left them behind.”

“Left them where?” Tao looked up to see Baekhyun standing frozen, his eyes watering, and Tao knew it wasn’t the rain. “Oh, sweetie.”

“I fucked up, Tao.” Baekhyun breathed out. “Oh god, oh _no_ oh my god—”

“Whoa, hey, calm down.” Ignoring the cold, Tao wrapped his arms securely around the small male. Baekhyun was trembling horribly, not just from the rain but from the shock of what had happened finally catching up to him.

“Hey, listen to me.” Tao stroked Baekhyun’s hair until he stopped shaking, rocking him slowly back-and-forth in the living room. “Go take a nice hot shower, okay? You take as long as you want. I’ll set out some clothes for you, and I’ll put on some hot chocolate and when you get out you can tell Mama Tao all about it, yeah?”

Baekhyun nodded, still clutching to Tao’s waist like a child, thanking him for both his warmth and his stability during his panic.

“Come on, honey.” Tao held Baekhyun’s hand and led him back to his bathroom, sitting him down on the closed toilet lid and turning on the shower. As though he was a child, Tao stood him up and gestured towards his pants. “Do you want—”

“I can do it.” Baekhyun whispered, shaking hands reaching for the button on his jeans. Tao nodded, leaving the bathroom after letting Baekhyun know where he was going.

Baekhyun stripped out of his soaking clothes and piled them in the sink before getting in the shower. The water was hot, scaldingly so, yet Baekhyun dunked his face under anyway. He gasped and sputtered as he pulled back, wiping the excess water from his eyes as his muscles began to thaw.

He heard the door open and shut and heard Tao messing around in the bathroom, probably setting out some clothes and a towel for Baekhyun before he left, the room flooding in silence once again.

The silence was suffocating. Baekhyun grabbed the wall and stood under the shower, water running though his hair and down his body without him moving.

 _He’d fucked up_.

He’d never thought that Chanyeol would be the one to bring up “the talk” first. Baekhyun had always assumed that he had been okay with their little arrangement, though now he knew that he was wrong. Chanyeol was just like everyone else, he just wanted the label, the title. Baekhyun felt tears well in his eyes. Why was he so upset?

The tears began to fall, and he began breathing heavily, so heavily he thought he would hyperventilate in the shower. Eventually they turned into full on sobs, and Baekhyun slid down the wall and curled into a ball on the floor, the shower spray hitting the tub just a few inches in front of him, and he cried. For the first time in three years, Byun Baekhyun allowed himself to cry over a boy.

Over Park Chanyeol, of all people.

Park Chanyeol, the perfect guy. He had the looks, the grades, the athleticism, the popularity. Everyone loved Chanyeol. Baekhyun remembered his conversation with Kyungsoo when the other had claimed him to be perfect boyfriend material. With a pang in his chest, Baekhyun knew that he was right.

Why did it hurt so bad?

Did he want Chanyeol to be his boyfriend?

 _No_.

Did he miss Chanyeol?

 _Yes_.

Baekhyun was so confused. He didn’t know what he felt, his emotions were taking over and he felt on the verge of a panic attack. Why was he feeling this way over _Park_ fucking _Chanyeol_ , why did his head hurt and his heart hurt so much at the thought of not seeing him again? Why did he allow his emotions to get the best of him?

Why didn’t he have the answers?

Baekhyun gave himself a few more minutes to calm down, evening out his breathing enough that he could stand up without collapsing again. He washed himself quickly, surprising himself that he was disappointed at the scent of Tao’s shampoo—it just wasn’t what he was expecting, that’s all.

Still sniffling but no longer crying, Baekhyun pushed out of the shower and dressed in the clothes Tao had laid out for him. Baekhyun was immensely grateful for Tao at that moment, the other had thought to put out an extra pair of socks for him, a long sleeve shirt, _and_ a sweatshirt for him to layer up in.

Warm, but still not content, Baekhyun left the bathroom and walked back to the living room.

“I’m almost done.” Tao said when he saw Baekhyun hesitating at the entrance to the kitchen. “There’s a blanket on the couch, go curl up and I’ll bring these out.”

Baekhyun nodded, shuffling over to the couch and wrapping himself up in the blanket.

“There we go.” Tao handed him a large mug of hot chocolate, heavy on the whipped cream, and sat down on the other side of the couch, facing Baekhyun. “Okay, sweetie, you need to tell me what’s going on. Who does Mama Tao need to kill for you, hm?”

Baekhyun knew Tao had been attempting a joke, but he chose to ignore it and instead focused on the mug warming his hands.

“There’s this boy. He, uh, oh no…” Baekhyun chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

“Take your time.” Tao smiled. “We have all the time in the world tonight, I promise.”

Baekhyun nodded. He took a deep breath and let the whole story out. How he and Chanyeol had met, their unspoken arrangement, his argument with Sehun and Kyungsoo, him running out on Chanyeol. Tao stayed silent and nodded along, only asking a few questions for clarification.

“But you care about this Chanyeol, don’t you?” Tao asked when he was finished.

“Yes. I mean, I think so. But how am I supposed to know? What are these feelings supposed to feel like?”

“I can’t say for sure.” Tao looked thoughtful. “But it sounds like you care for him in a relationship-esque way.” He held up a hand to stop Baekhyun from cutting in. “And it sounds like he cares for you in the same way. Maybe you’re not ready for a relationship—that’s _fine_ , Baekhyun, really. I do think you should talk to him. If he’s really how you say he is, he’ll want to listen.”

Baekhyun took a shaky breath. “But what if he doesn’t get it? No one gets it, but I don’t want to lose him.”

“How will you know if you never give him the opportunity to explain?”

“I…I don’t know.” Baekhyun hung his head shamefully.

“Listen, sweetie.” Tao set both of their mugs on the coffee table and took Baekhyun’s hands in his own. “Take a break. Take a step back, and think for a while. It sounds like you’re feeling things you’re not used to feeling, and it’s making you nervous, isn’t it?” Baekhyun nodded. “I want you to take your time and think through these feelings. It’s obvious you don’t want to lose Chanyeol, but on what level? In a friend way, or as something more?” Tao rubbed his thumbs along the back of Baekhyun’s hands soothingly. “You have all the answers, you just need to work through them.”

“I’m scared, Tao.” Baekhyun whispered. “I’m so scared.”

“Of what? Your feelings? A relationship?” Tao paused and looked at Baekhyun. “Or are you scared of losing Chanyeol?”

Baekhyun nodded his head.

“Well then, I think that’s your answer.” Tao smiled softly. “Take some time to work out the details of what you want. But let me give you the big picture—you want to keep Chanyeol in your life right where he is. Build on that, but don’t forget it.”

Tao glanced at the clock. “It’s late. You can stay here for a while if you want to, Yixing is out of state at a conducting symposium. He won’t mind if you take his room.”

“Thank you, Tao, really.” Baekhyun held on to the blanket as he stood up and wandered down the hallway towards the bedrooms. “You’re the best.”

Tao hummed, following him. “Anytime for you, Baekhyun.” Tao smiled. “Do you have everything you need?”

Baekhyun hummed an affirmative, laying down in Yixing’s bed and pulling the extra blanket over him.

“Goodnight, Baekhyun.”

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol was officially freaking out. It had been three days since anyone had seen Baekhyun. It was Wednesday morning, and Baekhyun had run off on Sunday leaving behind his phone and his laptop. Kyungsoo had said that Baekhyun hadn’t been in any of their shared classes, nor did he ever pass him in the halls like he usually did.

He, Kyungsoo, and Sehun had all asked their friends if they had any idea where Baekhyun was, though no one had seen him. Even Baekhyun’s housemates had begun to wonder just where he was, contacting _their_ friends with no luck. It was like Baekhyun had just vanished.

At least, he had until Sehun and Chanyeol spotted him in the business building.

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol grabbed Sehun’s shoulder and pointed at the small male who looked absolutely horrible. He was pale and had bags under his eyes, his back bowing extra under the weight of his backpack.

Baekhyun’s eyes locked on the two basketball players a second later, freezing in place. Then, he turned and ran again.

“Baekhyun!”

“Don’t.” Sehun pulled him back harshly. “You’re going to make things worse. I’ve got him.” Sehun took off down the hallway after throwing his backpack at Chanyeol.

Baekhyun’s small stature may have given him the advantage of losing himself in the crown, but Sehun had years of basketball on his side, and after just a couple minutes he had caught up to the small male. Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s upper arm and dragged him towards a corner in the main atrium, Baekhyun pulling back on his arm and fighting the whole time.

“Let go. Let me go! This is an attempted kidnapping, this is assault, I’m calling the cops-”

“Baekhyun!” Sehun let go once he had the male somewhat trapped in a corner. “Please, don’t run away. Talk to me, Baekhyun, where have you been?”

Baekhyun’s eyes locked on a spot on the floor, where he glared heavily and refused to acknowledge Sehun’s presence.

“I’m sorry, okay? I know I pushed you, and Chanyeol, and I’m _so_ sorry. We’re all so worried about you, though, it’s been days! Baekhyun please, _please_ just tell me that you’re okay.”

Baekhyun swallowed thickly and looked up. “I’m staying with a friend, I’m fine. I’m sorry for making you all worry.” He spoke softly, hesitantly, his eyes glancing all over the place and skipping over Sehun’s face entirely.

“What’s going on, Baekhyun? Let me help you, _please._ ” Sehun pleaded, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“I’m—I’ll be okay.” Baekhyun said after a minute of silence. “I’m just trying to work through something right now, don’t worry about me. I just…I need more time, Sehun. Please, just give me that. I’ll talk to you again soon, the end of the week, but I can’t yet.” Baekhyun’s eyes locked on Chanyeol who had just wandered into his line of sight behind Sehun where he greeted Kris with a smile that wasn’t nearly as vibrant as it usually was. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.” He began backing away towards a side hallway, his eyes never once leaving Chanyeol’s large frame.

“Okay, Baekhyun, just promise me you’re taking care of yourself. We’ll give you all the space and time you need, just _please_ take care of yourself.”

“I promise, I’m taking care of myself.” Baekhyun smiled sadly. “Please, tell Chanyeol that I’m sorry, and that I’ll talk to him soon? Almost, Sehun, just a little bit longer.”

Sehun nodded and watched his friend duck down the hallway, disappearing into a classroom a couple doors down.

“Sehun!” Chanyeol tossed him his backpack when he approached the basketball captain. “Where’s Baekhyun? Is he okay?”

“He’s okay, Chanyeol. He’s just working through something, he said. He just needs time to figure some stuff out, he’s staying with a friend right now.”

Chanyeol let out a sigh of relief. “As long as he’s okay.”

“He will be soon enough.” Sehun clapped Chanyeol on the shoulder. “Come on, captain, let’s get you to practice.”

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol next saw Baekhyun when he ran into him in the business building—like, _literally_ ran into him.

“Whoa, shit I’m so sorry, I—Baekhyun?” Chanyeol froze, his hand extended to help the male off the ground.

“Hi, hi, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun whispered hoarsely. He cleared his throat and took the redhead’s hand, pulling himself up before promptly letting go.

“How, uh, how are you?” Chanyeol asked softly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I’m…okay.” Baekhyun hesitated, his eyebrows furrowing as he struggled to find the right word. “Actually, I, uh, wanted to, um…talk to you.” He stuttered, biting his lip.

Chanyeol stared at him, eyes wide in shock. “You do?”

“But, I know you have basketball practice right now, which is probably why you were running and not paying attention to where you were going—seriously, you’re going to get yourself killed doing that someday, Chanyeol, and then I’m going to have no one to—” Baekhyun stopped abruptly, glancing up at Chanyeol before looking back down at the ground, his hands tightening around his backpack straps, “nevermind.”

“I can talk.” Chanyeol said earnestly, a small smile gracing his face. “It’s okay, I have time.”

“No, I don’t want to make you miss your practice—”

“Baekhyun.” He interrupted gently. “It’s fine. Even captains can afford to skip a practice every now and then.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Chanyeol kept his own hands in his pockets, though he yearned to reach out and take one of Baekhyun’s fidgeting hands. Instead, he nodded in the direction of the door. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“I—yeah. Okay, let’s go.” The pair walked side-by-side, their positions only changing when Chanyeol leapt forward to open the door for the smaller, who offered him a grateful smile in return.

The walk was tense and silent, only disrupted by Baekhyun occasionally giving a direction to Chanyeol. The taller decided to let Baekhyun lead, smiling when Aunt Em’s Café appeared around a turn.

He followed Baekhyun inside, lunging forward to grab the door again, his hand automatically coming to Baekhyun’s back to lead him in. The smaller tensed at the contact before relaxing and allowing Chanyeol to gently guide him over to a table in the corner—the same table Chanyeol had met Sehun and Kyungsoo at the other night.

The pair sat across from each other, Chanyeol smiled politely as Wendy approached the table again while Baekhyun simply nodded in greeting.

“I’ll take an Americano, sweet, please.”

“Hot chocolate,” Baekhyun said softly. Wendy nodded and whirled around, cheerily calling their orders to the people behind the counter.

Chanyeol sat quietly, watching Baekhyun as they waited for their drinks, but somehow it _wasn’t Baekhyun he was watching._ Baekhyun sat nervously, fidgeting in his seat every few seconds as he crossed and uncrossed his legs, his ankles, and then bouncing his right leg while keeping his left folded back under the chair. His fingers drummed anxiously on the rim of the table, a dull pattering the only sound filling the silence.

Baekhyun just seemed so much _smaller_ , Chanyeol ultimately decided. He looked exhausted, stressed, and like he was physically trying to curl in on himself, to disappear. The Baekhyun Chanyeol knew was loud, confident, always laughing or smiling, and if he wasn’t happy he was vocal about it. And it was so hard to not reach across the table, to not take Baekhyun’s tapping fingers in his own and calm him down.

Wendy returned then, setting their drinks down before retreating back to the counter, no doubt sensing the tense atmosphere.

Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun took a couple sips of their drinks. Chanyeol still kept an eye on Baekhyun though he stayed silent, giving Baekhyun the space he needed to sort through what he wanted to say.

“I have a lot to say.” Baekhyun spoke up a few minutes later, looking up to meet Chanyeol’s eyes. “This is going to take a while.”

“Take all the time you need. I have nowhere else to be but here.” Chanyeol assured him.

“I’ll start with an apology.”

“Baekhyun, you don’t have to…”

Baekhyun held up a hand to stop him. “Please, I need to get this off my chest.” Chanyeol nodded and sat back in his chair. “I’m sorry for running away like I did. It was immature, and I’ll try my best to not do it now, because I want to talk to you about this. I just…” he looked down sheepishly, “I needed to work through some things, and the topic was brought up so suddenly that I got scared, and so I ran. But I’ve worked through most of these things now, and I’d like to tell you, if you’re willing to listen.”

“Anything, Baek, you can tell me anything.” Chanyeol promised, nodding his head in what he hoped conveyed his seriousness and his support. “Take your time. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, as long as you let me say something when you’re done.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath.

“I’ve never been too keen on the idea of labels and things. It’s all an illusion to entertain the human need to own things, to be superior. To stake a claim on something, and then call it a generic name so that everyone knows what it is, and what it means.” Baekhyun’s fingers tapped lightly along the side of him steaming mug. “I’ve found it stupid, egotistical, and downright degrading.”

He looked down at his mug with a sad smile. “People hear a label and all of the sudden they think they know everything. You’re not a person anymore, it’s not someone’s life, it becomes a story, an _object_.” Baekhyun’s face screwed unconsciously as he spoke. “A measly source of entertainment for people to follow, and all of the sudden it isn’t just one or two people, it’s everyone and their neighbors’ aunts’ dogs who know about it.”

Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol again, who was watching him quietly, relaxed in his seat though it was obvious he was paying very close attention to everything Baekhyun was saying. “People have a label, a word that they can associate with, and they put that whatever in a box. The label is a box, giving people ideas and expectations that aren’t feasible in the slightest, yet they cling to them like a dog with a bone.” He laughed humorlessly, leaning back in his seat and looking up at the ceiling. “And then it’s a spiral. An endless spiral of ‘that’s not what you’re supposed to do,’ and ‘that’s not good enough.’ And all of the sudden, _you’re_ not good enough.”

Baekhyun sniffed and looked back at the table, blinking rapidly. His right hand came up to wipe angrily at a tear that had snuck out of his eye. “You become, just, _wrong_. A mistake, if you will. There’s a box, and you don’t fill the box. But the thing is, you didn’t fill _their_ box. It doesn’t matter if you filled your own, because individuals don’t matter anymore.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath. “It all depends on the masses, and what the public thinks, and how you look in the public’s eye. I just—I’ll never understand when it all became about pleasing others. Words like ‘boyfriend,” ‘relationship,’ ‘dating,’ they all exist so that other people can make some half-assed, lame attempt at pretending to care just so they can sort you into yet another box and move on.”

Chanyeol nodded when Baekhyun looked at him, showing that he was still listening. “I refuse to be a part of the growing entitlement and neediness of the human race to know everything, to be able to put a label on everything. I did a pretty good job avoiding the whole thing, too. Until you.”

Baekhyun leaned his forearms on the table and stared down at his drink. “It was easy, at first. It was just sex, and I could handle that. I usually did guys a couple times and left, but for some reason I couldn’t leave you. And then we started _not_ having sex, and I tried to leave. I was going to talk to you, but then you asked me to have dinner with you, and I said yes, figuring I’d break the news to you over food as an emotional buffer. But…I couldn’t.” Baekhyun looked up at him. “Then we went for a drive, and we talked, and I just—I _couldn’t_. It was all so natural; do you remember it too? Please tell me you do, that I’m not completely delusional.”

“I do.” Chanyeol nodded, thinking back to the first night they’d taken a night drive. Chanyeol had started by ranting about a few of his teammates, then Baekhyun ranted about a similar problem with his best friend, and then all of the sudden Chanyeol was crying, letting out pent up feelings of always living in his sister’s shadow, though she had no idea how he felt. Baekhyun had held him as he cried, consoling him and telling him a similar story about his brother. Thinking back on it now, Chanyeol recognized parts of that story as holding hints to Baekhyun’s adversity with labels, just in the way he spoke.

“You didn’t leave after seeing my stupid crying face? I figure that if you already wanted to leave, that would’ve sealed the deal.”

Baekhyun chuckled. “I know. I just—I don’t know. I didn’t, and I kept picking up your calls and meeting you at your apartment and it all spun out of control before I could stop it, and by the time I realized what I’d gotten myself in to it was too late.”

“If only I’d paid more attention, maybe I would have picked up on this…whatever it is, sooner.”

“It’s a problem, Chanyeol, I know it is. You can say it, I have commitment issues. I think it’s an actual phobia, I’m not sure. But it _is_ a problem.”

“No. No, it’s not.” Chanyeol sat up and looked intently at Baekhyun. “It’s not a problem, it’s not an issue.”

“It is when you want a relationship and I don’t.”

“Who said I did? I certainly didn’t.”

“You don’t have to lie, Chanyeol, I get it. People want commitment, they want a relationship, they want someone they can call their boyfriend, or girlfriend, or whatever. You want that, I know you do. I can see it in your eyes.” Baekhyun bit his lip, chewing it for a minute as he studied Chanyeol’s unwavering gaze on him.

“Are you done assuming things about me? That’s going to make this a lot harder on my part if you have those ideas about me when I never once gave you that implication.” Chanyeol took a deep breath of his own. “Can I talk now? Please, I just need to say something, and I need to you really _listen_ to me.”

Baekhyun looked at him, eyes misty, and nodded slowly.

“I don’t care about labels. I don’t care about boyfriends, or relationships, or whether or not we’re dating. You know what I do care about?” He paused for a minute, watching Baekhyun’s expression. “I care about _you_ , Baekhyun.”

“You…what?”

“I care about you, fuck, I really like you. I like hanging out with you, and that’s all it has to be. It doesn’t matter if we’re having sex, or eating, or re-watching Ouran High School Host Club for the tenth time, or wasting my gas in the middle of the night. I don’t care what we are, as long as we’re together. _You’re all I care about_ , Baekhyun, nothing and no one else.”

Hesitantly, Chanyeol reached his hand out and laid it gently on Baekhyun’s across the table, his confidence growing when the other didn’t pull his hand away.

“You…you mean you don’t care? About us being, like, ‘official’ or anything? Because I can’t do that.”

“We don’t have to be official for me to kiss you, right?”

“I-I guess not.”

“Okay then.” Chanyeol smiled reassuringly. “Baekhyun, I promise you, the only thing I care about is having you by my side, you can call it whatever you want.”

“I think that, maybe, someday, I’d like to be official with you, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said, his eyes on their hands still together on the table. He carefully maneuvered his so their fingers were now interlocked, squeezing lightly. “Not yet. Oh god, not yet, the idea makes me sick and I don’t even really want to talk about it—”

Chanyeol squeezed his hand and Baekhyun focused on that, breathing deeply. “But, someday. Yeah. Just…yeah.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol spoke softly. “All in its own time. Don’t rush anything, don’t force yourself into anything. I just want to be with you, Baekhyun. We can be whatever you want, as long as we’re together. We can be, well hopefully more than friends, but I don’t really like the word ‘boyfriend’ either…”

“Can we just be Chanyeol and Baekhyun?” Baekhyun asked, his voice quivering. “That’s all I want. I just want us to be us.”

“’Chanyeol and Baekhyun.’” Chanyeol hummed. “I like that. We’re creating our own box, look at that. I think labels are overrated, anyway.”

“Thank you.” Baekhyun whispered, a tear finding its way out of Baekhyun right eye, though this time he made no move to brush it away. He smiled. “Thank you so much.”

It started raining outside again, but neither male turned their attention away from each other. They stayed in the café for hours, Chanyeol moving to sit in the chair next to Baekhyun instead of across from him, his arm wrapping protectively over his shoulders to shield him from the cold. Eventually Baekhyun stopped crying, laughing instead, and Chanyeol looked upon him awestruck. Baekhyun’s laugh—that was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

 

* * *

 

The pair ended up going back to Chanyeol’s apartment, smiling and kissing so much he barely get the key in the lock. Once inside, Chanyeol pulled back to see Baekhyun crying again.

“Oh, Baekhyun, oh no, what is it?” Chanyeol’s hands came up to frame Baekhyun’s face, resting lightly on his cheeks as his thumbs brushed at his tears.

“Nothing.” Baekhyun managed a shaky smile. “I’m-I’m just so fucking _happy_ , and relieved that you’re still here, and that you still want me, and that we’re still _us_.”

Baekhyun tightened his grip on Chanyeol’s jacket, almost desperate as he spoke again. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for running, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel and I was so scared, and I promise I won’t ever just leave you like that again and—”

“Whoa, Baekhyun, it’s alright. It’s okay, I’m not mad, okay? I promise, I understand. _I’m_ sorry.” Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s shaking form and held him close, blinking tears from his own eyes. “I spoke up too soon. I should’ve known that it wasn’t a conversation I could just bring up, like _that_. That I would need to ease you into it. But I know now. I know, and I won’t ever make that mistake again, I swear.”

Chanyeol leaned down to kiss Baekhyun again, their tears mixing together on their cheeks, and their kisses desperate. They only pulled away once their lungs were screaming for air, their foreheads against each other as they breathed in sync.

“I’ve never been in love before.” Baekhyun whispered suddenly, quickly, as though he could lose his nerve if he spoke too slow. “I think—I think I’ve always just been too scared. But this, Chanyeol, what we have, I love this. And, I think, that means I love you too.”

Chanyeol pulled back in surprise, looking down at Baekhyun with wide eyes. “Baekhyun…”

Baekhyun buried his face in Chanyeol’s chest, his breathing rapid. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say that, oh _no_.”

Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun away and kissed him again, his hands on his cheeks and holding him close, as though he was worried Baekhyun would disappear if he didn’t (it was a valid fear). Baekhyun’s hands stayed fisted in Chanyeol’s sweatshirt tightening in surprise.

“Oh god, I love you too.” Chanyeol spoke quickly when they pulled away. “I love you so much, Baekhyun, I love you.”

Baekhyun, tears in his eyes again, wrapped his arms around the back of Chanyeol’s neck and pulled him back down, kissing him desperately.

They stumbled through the apartment, somehow making it to Chanyeol’s bed where Baekhyun fell back and Chanyeol fell on top of him. Their clothes never came off that night, but their kisses never faltered, either. They each lost count of how many times the other said “I love you,” but the number didn’t really matter, did it? All that mattered was that it was being said, it was being heard, and it was being felt.

 

* * *

 

“You know, just because I love you doesn’t mean we can start using labels all of the sudden.” Baekhyun made sure to say the next morning as he approached Chanyeol in the kitchen, freshly showered and clothed in one of Chanyeol’s shirts.

The taller hummed. “Do we have to be official for me to say ‘I love you?’”

“I guess not.” Baekhyun accepted the mug of hot chocolate offered to him along with a kiss on his forehead.

“Okay then.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so this one is a little more on the angsty side (I'm sorry pls don't kill me jfgaofhapu).
> 
> So I wrote this one mostly to write myself through my own personal fear of commitment and get all my thoughts on paper and then I was like, hey, this is actually pretty good!! So here it is.
> 
> Of course, everyone with commitment issues it isn't the same, but this is my own personal view on commitment and relationships and kind of just people in general. This also isn't a bash on anyone in a relationship, I love couple goals™ as much as the next guy, I just can't bring myself to experience them.
> 
> I'm waiting for my own Chanyeol one day!!
> 
> Anyway, long note I know. I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy this fic I wrote out of the angsty corners of my heart!!
> 
> Also, this is how I pictured Chanyeol's studio apartment (I came across the pictures and I couldn't not include them omg they're so beautiful) (I totally am in love with the idea that Chanyeol has the most aesthetic apartment ever) [Just scroll and you'll see the whole thing](https://www.jurnaldedesigninterior.com/2017/12/plan-deschis-si-perete-de-sticla-in-amenajarea-unei-mansarde-35-mp.html)
> 
> come say hi to me on twitter!! [loeysxdaisies](https://twitter.com/loeysxdaises)
> 
> curious cat for those of you shy little beans (i'd still love hear from you!) [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/loeysxdaisies)


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